i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
