We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
