a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
