I wish i was in the wii world.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
