You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Randomize
