Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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