i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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