i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
