nut hugger
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
