Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
