This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
