So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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