Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
