R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
