Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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