lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
