now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
