if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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