i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
