All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
