it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
