Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
