I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
