He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
