i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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