How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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