Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
