so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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