If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
