What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize