he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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