bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
