i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
