Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
