Will you blow on my dice?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
