addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
