i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I am naked and annoyed.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
