you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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