i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My pussy is not your playground.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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