i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize