North Korea, Best Korea!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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