ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I believe in your delicious
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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