Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
