He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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