so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
