so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
