around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
