the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I have fence marks all over my body
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
