If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
