My friends, they love my intelligence
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
