My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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