i just had sex bonerless
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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