Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize