we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize