just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
