ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
