I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I have aggressive nipples.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
