I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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