i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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