i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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