I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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