did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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