On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
