So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
