Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
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