just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
