that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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