So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize