is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
