Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
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